I want you more than these girls want KFC
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
