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I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
