All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
