Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
