Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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