You really coming over, don't trick.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
