drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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