it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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