TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
