I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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