I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
