After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
