Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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