nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
