Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
