in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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