We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
