Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
