Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
