YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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