Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Randomize
