Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Mom said you looked used
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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