I'm so fucking centered right now
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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