Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
