I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
