This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
