After last night, I could never be a politician.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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