I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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