it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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