So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
