After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
