Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
