I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
