I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
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