Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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