We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
