he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night�
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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