your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
My day in three words: secret purse cake
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
