You smell like stripper and shame
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
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