yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
