I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
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