Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Who died my cat blue again?
Randomize
