what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
