I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
