You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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