We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
