every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Randomize
