im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
