I hope mine doesn't look like that
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
