great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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